Finding Ourselves

Where in this life do we begin? How do we evolve? These are simple questions that have probably been asked for centuries. Each one of us have our own beliefs and stories which coincide with our awareness of our personal life journey. My awakening started over 20 years ago after a brush with death. I started questioning my false sense of security in needing power over people and control in my environment. First I explored why many relationships didn’t satisfy me and why my thirst for money and power nearly killed me. I spent years learning communication models, processing feelings and studying my body’s reaction and response to stimuls from others. I found myself reliving childhood beliefs and fears. I thought these experiences of family and culture formed my life behaviours. So I dove into learning and training with Bennet Wong and Jock Mckeen at the Haven Institute, Marjory Rand at the IBP Institute, Ida Rolf’s Body work training at the Guild for Structural Integration and completed a Masters Degree in Therapeutic Counseling. I grasped the idea that our bodies are a temple for our soul and spirit. I also expanded my awareness of others and myself. This gave me more choices about living particularly in my energetic and creative expression in social and relationship based interactions. Still I was unsatisfied as many of my deep urgings and questions remained unanswered.
So I began exploring further back in my history, working with William Emerson studying pre and perinatal psychology, and Karlton Terry exploring Birth, Baby, and Embodiment trainings. By regressing back I learned how difficult it is for a prenate to enter this life and how I was impacted at a cellular level by what was passed on to me through my umbilical cord I regressed back to conception and discovered that my earliest patterns came during embodiment. Embodiment is when we choose our parents and commit with the great creator to once again journey through another lifetime. Everything I created in my life started when my mom’s egg and dad’s sperms did the dance of new life. In these early times my spirit was fully alive and uncompromised by all that was to come in the way of physical, cultural and emotional restraints.

Birth is one of our most significant life transitions. It is one of the easiest to access physical strains and emotional imprints are left in our bodies from this traumatic event. Imagine trying to push your head through an opening made of stone that is one inch smaller than your head. This is the reality for most one of us that came here through a pelvis. In the Intro to Birth workshop that I lead, we create a birth tunnel with the participants. Each person is invited to go through the birth canal as an adult to do sacred research and to repattern traumatic or shocking events. In a recent workshop a participant learned she had a twin spirit guide that was very important to her during her moms pregnancy and that they became separated during birth. Through conscious birthing she repatterned this part by taking another participant with her through the birth tunnel. With a deep satisfied look in her eyes she reported “I now understanding a deep urging that I have felt in my life”.

Exploring my pre and perinatal history has brought me in touch with my routes and physical body beginnings. My beginnings started from cellular reaction to my environment not from thinking. It is this awareness that has fed my evolutionary path the most. In my growing awareness I found a deeper spiritual connection and a greater alignment with my higher self. This deep knowing from within has lead me to know where I began.